There’s this ironic thing that tends to happen when Katie and I try to have a romantic get-away. It’s almost never the romantic get-away we imagine. For example, this weekend we ran away to Kansas City, but I was sick and doped out on DayQuil, then the room I rented at a cutthroat rate turned out to meet the expectations of a price cut – peeling wallpaper, loud elevator just outside the room, a hallway that smelled of cheese.

But those are the memories that draw us closer together and give us wonderfully laughable memories to look back on, right? Right. Never funny at the time, though.

Regardless of the circumstances, we did have a lovely dinner and another great visit to our dear friend Aaron’s church called Jacob’s Well. What a great place. Over dinner I asked Katie, “What needs to change?”

I think we forget to ask ourselves and each other that question.

This morning, I heard a great quote from someone being interviewed on the NPR program This American Life. The interviewee was talking about his courtship and marriage, and said something so insightful:

“No one ever asks, ‘How did you two stay together?’ Everyone always asks, ‘How did you two meet?’”

Never have I been asked about what my marriage is like, or how we got through the first year. It really is, “How did you guys meet?”

So, how do we stay together? Honestly, sometimes I think we simply hold on to our vows, but I would like to think that most of the time we really pursue each other and keep our marriage focused on how God would have us act. If I am really loving Katie more than myself and sacrificing for her each day, then what else would I need to do? Unfortunately my selfishness gets in the way, but thankfully Katie is forgiving.

I am so excited for what this next year holds. We’re starting a new study of what biblical marriage looks like and how to continue to shape our relationship. Hopefully I have a more solid answer and some proof as to how we have stayed together. That is, if the question comes up.

Editor’s note: I wrote this while still having a bit of a head cold, so I apologize if there are any incomplete thoughts or if anything is repetitively repetitive.