Wow, it’s been a while. Usually that’s a sign of chaos in our life, and this time of silence is no exception. So, here’s a quick update of what is happening in the life of the Saldanha’s.

As you can probably tell from the photo, Eisley Christine the Teeniest Bean is no longer teeny. In fact, she’s a big kid. Running, playing, singing, dancing, talking up a storm, making jokes, getting into everything… it’s amazing. Just the other day she asked for a bowl of toast for breakfast. She often requests to wear one of her many tutus, and wants Baba to play some of “her” songs on the guitar. Thankfully, she loves great music and worshipful music. It’s pure delight. We are past 20 months, and it seems like she’ll be 15 years old tomorrow. Yikes. Slow down, time. Thanks.

I’m sure most people know this by now, but we’re in the process of moving to Des Moines. There will be a detailed and incredibly long post about all of that later, but for now we’ll just keep it light. Our house has been on the market for a few weeks and we’ve had good traffic, but no offers. Equally disappointing has been the houses we’ve viewed so far. But hey, we can walk away with lovely memories and gems such as the smallest bathroom ever built.

Baby Brother is still chugging along. Honestly, we tend to forget about him throughout the day. It’s easy to get caught up in everything that’s going on and just not think about him because he’s not here. Then he sticks his elbow through Katie’s belly and she’s fully aware he’s here. Only two more months, and we can’t wait to meet him!

Baby Cousin Sloane arrived at the beginning of December. She’s lovely! Eisely adores her and still talks about how she cuddled Sloane with a pillow. Don’t worry, she didn’t smother her, the pillow was on her lap.

The elder Saldanha’s are hanging in there. Full disclosure: it’s been a rough couple weeks. I’m not afraid to expose the selfishness in myself and say that I have been the cause of much turmoil in our house. Circumstances have taken a toll on the ol’ Chris Spirit and I find myself discouraged a lot more than usual, which leads to conflict in our house. I think we’re getting better at it, but it’s safe to say this is one of the more challenging moments in our life together. If only to expose the ugliness in my heart and to be better at communicating with and serving each other, I’m thankful for this crazy time. It is such a good reminder of the brokenness that is all around us, and how amazing Jesus is. We destroy, He repairs. Daily. I want to be more like Him every day, and I’m sure Katie wouldn’t mind that, either.

In conclusion, pray for us. Please. PLEASE! We have a house we’d like to sell, a house we need to find, a toddler, a newbie-in-process, work, relationships to maintain, relationships to build, marriage, family… just lots of stuff.

But if this angel face tells me anything, it’s that we’ll be alright.

My Dearest Love-
I would be lying if I said the reason I wanted to sit next to you at Pizza Pit on that chilly February night was anything other than because I thought you were a hottie. But from the beginning of that conversation to today, I’m enraptured not only by your beauty, but also glowing personality, your quick wit, your loving spirit and your enormous heart.

1. Your Hotness
You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever met, both inside and out. When seeing you across a room, I find myself having to catch my breath. Not only that, but your humility (which sometimes borders on ignorance) is more attractive every day in a world full of self-conceit and self-worship. You love people. Your heart breaks for people. You want people to know that they are loved. How can I not be attracted to a beauty like that.

2. Your Personality
Jokes, voices, performances, air heels, cheerleading, living room dance parties, what’s not to love? Your beauty captured my attention, but your personality has kept me close. They say over time that married couples become more alike. I feel as though from day 1 we have been the same person. Not in every way, but certainly in the important ways. I’m in awe of how God has unified us, to the point that we don’t even need to say anything to know what the other is thinking, though that certainly hasn’t silence the conversation. I can’t think of another person I would rather spend every day with.

3. Your Desire
Perhaps your most attractive quality is your desire to be the woman God created you to be, and the mother God designed you to be. It’s not always an easy journey, but I love that you always want to be growing toward what you know is better. The growth I have seen in you the last four years makes me excited to see where we will be in another 40.

Thank you, my love, for saying “yes”. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for loving our daughter and growing baby more than yourself. Thank you for constantly drawing me back toward God and desiring to be the man you deserve.

I love you so much and am forever thankful for God bringing us together. May tomorrow be better than today.

Your Christopher

Today is a day America celebrates one of the greatest moments in history, the marriage of Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis. But in our household, that occasion is overshadowed by the birth of the Amazing Kathryn Ann Carlston Saldanha. (Yes, “Amazing” was on her birth certificate, but due to legal matters was later expunged).

I can’t even begin to tell how amazing Katie Annie really is, so those who know her best compiled this appropriately numbered list of reasons everyone loves Kathryn!

1.  She can bend a book like nobody’s business
2.  She will keep doing whatever she’s doing to get your attention until you make eye contact
3.  She’s FUNNNNNNY!!!! / Endless ability to make up jokes / Comatose!
4.  She has to explain her jokes
5.  She’s a wonderful mommy
6.  The softness in her voice when she talks about Eisley
7.  Wanting to be the best wife and mother she can be
8.  The way she loves and honors Christopher
9.  She has a huge heart / Her tender heart / Her loving heart
10.  The ability to care so much it hurts
11.  She shows love and compassion to everyone she meets
12.  She lights up a room when she enters
13.  She is just dang fun to be around
14.  Two words: air heels
15.  She’s a crazy worrier!
16.  Her volume!
17.  Her performances!
18.  Her infectious laughter
19.  Her olfactory expertise
20.  Her dancing abilities
21.  Her fondness for Gasians
22.  Puts family before anything else in this world / She always puts her family first and she loves us like crazy
23.  She loves her nephews like they were her own sons
24.  The look in her nephews’ eyes when they see their Katie
25.  The fact that random strangers stop Josh at the mall because they know his children
26.  She loves celebrating others
27.  Spontaneous singing about anything and everything / There is always a song in her heart and on her lips
28.  Her desire to REALLY understand God / Her desire to be a woman of God
29.  The fact that she can scare herself by whispering her name in the dark
30.  She gave us Chris

I swear, that last one wasn’t my idea. Love you, my sweet, beautiful, funny, charming, intelligent, kind, loving KK!

To celebrate three years with my lovely Kathryn, I took off work to spend the day with my girls. We started the morning with some pancakes and sausage, then picked up some pastries from Sweet Binney’s, who catered our reception, drove through Caribou to grab some coffee, where we had our first date, and walked around the Salisbury House, where we had our wedding. It was a perfect day, much like the day God so graciously provided for us three years ago.

Then we hit up the night life with dinner at Red China Bistro (we ate at 5:45pm, there were 5 people in the restaurant) and dessert at Alba (at 7:00pm. I think they were confused by the “hipsters” eating dessert at 7:00pm).

‘Twas a good day, indeed.

I realize that it’s almost August and I’m way late on this one, but the other day I was thinking that Katie didn’t get a proper Mother’s Day celebration.

Sure, she got Eisley, but those first few days were such a whirlwind that in the end I got her a handful of pathetic flowers and I’m sure I uttered some mother-y sentiment.

Honestly, every day should be Mother’s Day.

I am in awe of Katie; her love, her compassion, her strength. She just wants what’s best for that little Bean.

I appreciate all that Katie does. Most days go by without me saying that, and they shouldn’t. I can be gone for hours or even days at a time, but Katie literally cannot be separated from Eisley. The few free hours she can steal away during the day between feeding and naptime, she wants to clean the house, fold laundry, or cook dinner. I insist she doesn’t need to, but she wants to. Talk about a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

So Kathryn, Happy Mother’s Day. You were perfectly and specifically created for Eisley, and she couldn’t be more blessed to have you as her mom. I love you both more than my own life.

As I’m typing this, Chris is sleeping soundly upstairs. Poor boy didn’t get much sleep last night, what with all the emergency room-ing and the holding my hand-ing and the holding my hair back while I vomited-ing. And on top of that, he feels sick too!

The flu bug has invaded our home.

We had a lovely dinner last night with the 2 Carlstons and 4 of the 5 Hullings. After dinner, I was feeling a little rough – I hadn’t had much of an appetite and come to find out, Chris had been feeling kind of queasy all day too.  We got home, got our jammies on, popped on the burned dvd of Lost from the night before and halfway through, I ran into the bathroom and let it rip. Ugh. Poor baby girl, she was probably like, “whoa whoa WHOA!!”

Chris called the mynurse hotline and asked what we should do – I am THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS ALONG after all! Throwing up majorly can’t be good for me, right? They suggested we head over to the emergency room.

After checking in to the front desk, and after being a LITTLE disconcerted that the girl behind the EMERGENCY ROOM desk, upon hearing that I was 38 weeks along says, “Soo…like…how many months is THAT?” (Granted, she may have not been a nurse, or even in the medical field – she could have just been a volunteer…but maybe she should just stick to cleaning out the ice machines as her volunteer work?)

Anyway.

We meet with the nurses and they chart baby girl’s heart beat/movement, etc. ask me questions. And APPARENTLY, I was having contractions! She would be watching the monitor and say, “Oh! Here comes a contraction! You feel that?”

Um. No?

Dang it!

So baby girl checked out fine…Chris and I, not so much. Chris was as pale as a ghost me in the winter, was having chills and nausea. Upon waiting for the nurse to return to sign discharge papers, I had to dash into the bathroom and throw up again.
We are so thankful we only live 4 blocks from Mary Greeley. We had a tossy-turny night and woke up feeling…eh…a LITTLE better. We’ve had toast. And water. And watched “The Blindside” which was awesome.

So now, as little Bubbs is hoping that mommy doesn’t throw up anymore, and Big Bubbs is catching up on his much-needed rest, I am trying to figure out how to exit a hammock gracefully. Because 20 minutes ago, that did NOT happen.

It’s hard to follow up a post like, “we’re having a baby.” It’s like trying to write a song after you won a Grammy, or writing your next novel after the Pulitzer. But, alas, a singer must sing, a writer must write, and a blogger must blog.

We’re sneaking up on 16 weeks and everything is still tip-top. Katie’s nausea has subsided a little, but it still comes and goes. Not too long ago, we wondered, “What will our baby look like?” Today Katie sent me a few candidates.

Editor’s note: if these are your kids, my sincere apologies. We’re not pedophiles, my wife just likes reading random blogs.

A girl? Katie has become convinced we’re having a girl since both our sisters have all boys. She claims that she’s finally coming to terms with dealing with the possibility of having a girl. In all honesty, I think Katie kind of wants a girl, it’s all she talks about. Could this beauty be our child?

I’m certainly grateful for the fact that we’re having a child in the first place, so I don’t want to get too demanding. But, to me, in an ideal world we’d have a son first. I think it really gives me an opportunity to teach him about leadership, taking responsibility for the younger ones, etc. Especially if our son looked like this dapper lad!

Deep, deep down, I kind of think that Katie really wants a panda. Could this be our panda?

Oh well, can’t win them all.

If it’s on Facebook, then it’s true. We’re having a baby!

Today marks Katie’s 14th week, so we found out back in August. But this journey has been nearly a year in the making. In the fall of last year, we began talking more about entering that next stage of life, and we came to find out the journey brought along some speed bumps.

We tried and tried and tried for what seemed like forever, though in retrospect it was such a short amount of time. Never-the-less, I know it was hard for Katie to be met with disappointment each month. On top of that, we began to wonder if something was wrong. Like is often the case with struggle, hardship, or suffering, it’s one of those situations that teaches you to be way more sensitive and compassionate towards other couples in whatever their situation may be. For that, we praise God for changing our hearts.

Then, in June, the test came back positive. We were so excited and thankful, but that would only last a couple weeks. We had the unfortunate experience of having a miscarriage, which was by far the hardest thing we had to deal with in our marriage. Again, God allowed us to learn and grow a lot through that time. Our marriage is stronger now than ever, and we’re pretty darn excited to be where we are while heading to this next stage of life.

My hope is that Katie and I will continue to deepen our hope and faith in the God who gives life, and breath, and everything else. Being where we are today, I think we have a much sharper picture of God’s timing and goodness, but this isn’t the end. Now, more than ever, we need to cling to the God that gives us hope.

There is a side of this experience that weighs down our hearts. We have close friends that continue to struggle in child-bearing, or know they that cannot have kids. To be honest, that sucks. A lot. I don’t understand why we of all people are blessed in this way when others aren’t. I am constantly amazed by the grace and patience of our friends who continue to struggle, and we will continue to pray for them.

So there it is. It seems strange to me because there’s no change in me, but I can see a person growing inside of Katie. I know the weight of fatherhood will come in time, but for today I am preparing for the joy and responsibility that’s been given to me. I think Hannah said it best:

“O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.”

I’m not specifically asking for a son, and our kid will probably get haircuts. Well, maybe. But the point is that God has heard our cry and given us the blessing we asked for, and now we want to turn around and raise our kid in honor of the God we choose to serve. That is the very least and very best thing we could do for a God who is so gracious and so wonderful.

It’s hard to believe that two years ago today I was getting ready to marry the most amazing woman I had ever met. How do you put into words how much you love a person, or all you’ve experienced together in life? You can’t do it justice. But from the first bite of the donut, I knew our marriage was going to be great.

From the beginning of our marriage, God has been so good. Obviously, He was good before, but if you were at our wedding you could see it. The entire week up to our wedding was rainy and cold. Then Friday it warmed up and the winds came, and Saturday was beautiful and dry. A perfect October wedding.

And we can see the hand of God in our marriage today. There has been joy and suffering, laughter and tears, but through it all we can hear God tell us that He loves us and He wants us to see our full potential as one. Daily, I am reminded how selfish I am, and how lovely Katie is. I can only hope and pray to love her like I should.

Truth be told, she’s easy to love! Who isn’t enthralled by her jokes, wit and personality. Or captivated by her beauty (especially that new haircut, ooh la la!). I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. I am truly grateful that God gave me the woman of my dreams, and the love that He gave us has continued to grow and grow. I can honestly say I love Katie more today than ever.

So we look forward to year three, I have a feeling it’s going to be an adventure. Whatever happens I pray that I would put Katie before myself, and God before both of us.

A lot of people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. To be honest, Katie and I didn’t experience that. Sure, there was an adjustment period, getting used to each others day-to-day routines, but before long it felt like we had always been married.

The second year has been even better than the first! There were a few rough spots, and some circumstances that were out of our control, but we handled it all and stayed on course.

But now, two weeks before we enter our third year of marriage, I have a confession to make. I have been a crappy husband.

I don’t know what it was about this weekend, but there was a heightened tension in our marriage. What I do know is that I have been selfish, on edge, passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and just plain crap.

Katie, my love, I am so sorry.

I’ve had a cold for what seems like weeks. But that’s not an excuse. Work has been challenging. But that’s not an excuse. There are a thousand things that I could blame, but I only have myself and my selfishness. The past three days I have chosen to serve myself rather than my wife, and now I see the horrible effect it has.

Honestly, I don’t know how a majority of the world does it. Were it not for God showing me my selfishness and giving me hope and grace to correct it, I would still be pouting in the corner. And then our marriage would be hard.

Kathryn, you are my love and joy. I can’t wait to get into year three!