As the days leading up to fatherhood become fewer, I can’t help but think more and more about how our culture views marriage and parenting. Everyone has an opinion, and each opinion has a plethora of books written to support that view. We know, we’ve seen them on the shelf. One issue that tends to still be a hot-button is the decision for a mom to stay at home.

As a family, we have decided the best thing for us is for Katie to stay home, and that is usually met with one of two responses:

A) That’s cool that you guys want to do that
B) Won’t Katie be bored? / How can you afford that? / Doesn’t Katie aspire to other things?

We know that no decision in life is ever black and white, or easy for that matter. Even the decisions that seem blacker or whiter than others come with baggage. There are single moms that need to work. There are parents that decide the best thing for their family is for both parents to work. And that’s great, I’m not knocking that by any means.

What I am saying is that we need to be more supportive of moms who decide to stay home.

When Katie and I talk about raising our kids, we think the person best qualified for the job (and yes, it is a job) is Katie. We believe she has the gifts, skills, talents and emotional and physical connection needed to best raise our baby girl. And because we believe that, we’re willing to make sacrifices to make it happen.

People tend to ask if Katie will get bored staying home. Does the babysitter or daycare provider get bored? It seems like we have a double standard in not thinking it’s weird for someone to work in a daycare, but it’s weird for someone to stay home to take care of their kids. Plus, how can you get bored of spending time with your kids? Sure, some days will be more quiet than others, but if I could have my way I’d be there right alongside my girls every hour of every day.

Then there is the question of why doesn’t a stay-at-home mom “asipre” to anything. Aspire to what? To what end is the careerism rat-race? What could be a greater aspiration than making the sacrifice of time and energy to raise your kids? In my mind, Katie is the President of Child Development, and the COO of the Saldanha Corporation. The pay isn’t that great, but the reward sure is.

Like I said before, this is just one view. I’m not saying that other opinions are wrong, nor am I trying to bring people down if they choose to work. All I’m saying is that the other side of the argument should get some well-deserved respect.

To moms!

Good
Snow days. We had a movie and shoveling marathon yesterday thanks to the heavens dumping 12 inches of snow on central Iowa.

Bad
The massive sheet of ice between Ankeny and Ames. This morning was not a fun commute.

The Baby
We found out Monday that we’re having a little girl! This is the first granddaughter in both our families, and only the second great-granddaughter. Needless to say, we’re very, very excited. I know that people are going to want to spoil this little angel, but please, go easy on the pink and princess stuff. We’re just not that kind of people.

We also got a bit of not-so-great news. Yesterday the doctor called and said they had spotted a cyst on the baby’s brain. More than likely the cyst will go away or just be a non-issue, but any time you hear something is there that shouldn’t be, and somewhere kind of important like the brain, you tend to worry. At least, we do. So for those who are the praying type, we would appreciate those prayers. For those who are not, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind hearing from you either. We appreciate all the love and support our family and friends give us.

For me, this is one of those critical moments, where I have to choose how I’ll react to a given situation.

Do I:
A) Freak out.
B) Get angry.
C) Trust.

My immediate reaction is A, maybe with a little bit of B sprinkled in there. I think that’s human nature. My knee-jerk reaction is, “What injustice?!? Why my kid? Haven’t I been faithful, God?” As I’ve been studying through the Old Testament book of Psalms, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes I see a common theme: Life can really suck, but it’s not supposed to be that way. I know that God doesn’t want Baby S to have a cyst on her brain, but nature is corrupted and mutated. These things happen. It’s, well, nature.

God wants answer C. So that’s what we’re going to do. We know the rejoicing that will come in the end.

“Your hands made me and fashioned me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments. May those who fear You see me and be glad, because I wait for Your word.”