They say (I don’t know who “they” are, but they do say) that the road to eight weeks can be a rough one, but once you arrive you’ve turned a corner toward happy toddlery. So here we are, two days into Phase 3 of Eisley Christine The Tiniest Bean’s (or, ECTTB) life.

Phase 1 was great, but tiring. Four weeks of learning who this little person was, what they need, when they need it, how they tell us they need it, how they tell us we’re not giving them what they need . . . it’s exhausting. Both physically and emotionally. For those first few weeks I think we were clocking about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Although I loved how little and cuddly ECTTB was, I’m glad those days are behind us.

Phase 2 proved to be challenging, but a lot of fun. ECTTB was smiling a lot, starting to interact a tiny bit, ooo’s and aaaah’s, recognizing Kate and I as we entered the room. By week eight, we could tell she knew who we were and was happy to see us.

Phase 3 will bring a lot of change. (Hopefully) Sleeping through the night, less feeding, longer napping, chatting, rolling, and being all around lovely. I don’t now if it’s psychological or for real, but I can’t help but feel I’ve noticed a difference in ECTTB already. Could be the fact that she’s a big kid, maybe it’s the dairy-free diet (which has proved to be more challenging than we thought) taking effect, either way we love where we are.

I am also amazed at how much I’ve learned in 8 weeks. Like, my mind has been completely blown. Here are a few highlights:

1. God Is Amazing
The moment ECTTB showed up, I knew abundantly more about the love that God has for us. He created us, and we created this little girl. There is no comparison to that love. Yeah, I LOVE Kate more than anything in this world, but I didn’t create her. In a lot of ways my love for her can be fickle because, although she’s spiritually a part of me, she’s not physically of me. Eisley has part of me inside her, and there is this intrinsic love that floods my heart. It’s fantastic, but dangerous (more on that later).

Also, we have to trust God for evertything. Duh, right? As a Christian that’s rule numero uno. But when you have a kid it becomes way more real. I forget to trust God because I am a rational (most of the time), logical (I think), self-sufficient (not really, but we think so) human being that can act on my feelings, thoughts, stimuli. ECTTB can’t do much on her own. She can’t feed herself. She can’t roll over if she’s face down. She can’t tell us exactly what she needs when she needs it. Those first few nights home we didn’t sleep for fear that ECTTB would need us to save her live. We have slowly been able to trust God that He’s got it under control. Yeah, crappy stuff can happen, but He knows what He’s doing. Trust me . . . trust Him.

2. The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Kids
The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse more than them. Whoa, what? Yup. I said it. Our family isn’t about ECTTB (is that joke old yet?), but she is a part of it. If things aren’t right between Kate and I, things won’t be right between us and our kids. If there’s marriage problems things become petty, and it’s easy to make idols out of our kids. We’re human, we love to hurt people who hurt us. It’s certainly been hard to invest in my marriage as much as I’d like, and I know it needs more attention than I’m giving it, but I think we’re in a good place. We know that if Eisley knows her mom and dad love each other she’ll feel secure.

3. It’s Not About You
This is a lesson for both the Christian and Non-Christian. Let’s face it, we’re all selfish. We humans tend to think of ourselves as the central figure in a movie about ourselves. Everyone else around us are the supporting cast, and our resolution is to find pleasure for ourselves. Having a kid forces you to take a hard look at where you spend your time, money and energy. All of a sudden, you’re sacrificing sleep and a social life to keep this kid alive. Not only that, but it’s a joy to give up those things to spend time with this amazing little bundle. I would trade a beer with the fellas for an hour with Eisley any day. Now, if we can just have that same attitude for God, we’d be in good shape.

4. It’s True
Eisley is the cutest kid on Earth. I know everyone says that about their kids, but c’mon. Seriously.

Little Miss Sweets is here! She was 5 days early and once she decided to come, boy did she come quickly! I’ll spare the details (although if you REALLY want to know, ask Chris to describe water breaking), but she arrived safe and sound at 1:30 a.m. Wednesday, May 5th, 2010. 6 pounds 15 oz, 19 inches long.

Chris and I both have good intentions to write blog after blog after blog about our experiences so far, but we’re just 1) too tired to sit in front of a computer to type anything lengthy, 2) too in love with her…we just want to STARE at her little half-Chris, half-Katie face. Literally. The top half of her face is Daddy. The bottom half, Mommy. She got Daddy’s rockin hair and beautiful skin tone, and let’s just say that when the time comes, Mommy is going to have to give Eisley pointers on how to make her lips appear fuller. Sigh. Sorry, Sugar.

She is wonderful and amazing and hilarious and snuggable and adorable and precious and floppy and snorty and sweet and delicious.

As I’m typing this, she is in my arms gazing up at me, breathing rhythmically and smelling like milk and Burt’s Bees lotion.  Chris and I are humbled by her perfection. Who are we to have been given such an amazing gift? Lord, may we never forget how You provided for us. Thank You for our amazing Princess Eisley, aka Sugar Buns, Eisey, Munch, Peanut, Little B.

The above photo is one of my favorites. I snapped it with my phone after a walk on Monday. Eisley and Lilly of the Valley: two of my favorite things.  More photos of Sugar Bean to come.

“Of the great books which have been composed or partly written in prison, ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ by John Bunyan is the best known and the most remarkable.”

Like most people, I love a good story. I can’t wait for the day I get to read stories to my kids, pull them into the lives of the characters and see how they enter into the emotional roller coaster of the arc. There is something magical about entering Narnia through the wardrobe or fighting the buggers alongside Ender. And there’s certainly something magical about being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Over the years, as I have studied and sought to understand the Bible and what impact it has on my life, it has becoming so clear that God is writing a story and we are all characters. Don Miller helped me understand that I’ve lived my life as the central figure of my own story, but God has a much bigger story for us. Steve Larson has helped me discover the thread that runs through all of the Bible, and that my tiny, unimportant life is indeed an important character and subplot. And God continues to show me that knowing Him is not about theological points or analyzing allegory, but to listen to His telling of the story of humanity.

Jesus definitely used allegory to teach us the mysteries of this Kingdom he talked so much about. Knowing which path have we been sown on, or identifying with the lost sheep, or the realization that we are the prodigal son. But we get so caught up in every aspect of the Bible having to be boiled down to however many theological points.

What if that was how we told stories to our kids?

Me: “Alright dummies, now that I’ve read ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ to you, who can tell me the five application points?”

Kid: “Uh . . . that it was awesome?”

Me: “Wrong! Max is a symbol of our inner childhood and rage, which manifests itself in our lives as wild monsters that cannot be controlled and thus when we are faced with that realization we run from the very aggression we believed was to be embraced. Therefore, stop being mad.”

What a killjoy. Can’t we just be content with being amazed? Sure, there are moral implications below the surface, but are we missing the forest for the tree?

God help me that I never exasperate my kids. I hope I can allow them to enjoy the story.

As the days leading up to fatherhood become fewer, I can’t help but think more and more about how our culture views marriage and parenting. Everyone has an opinion, and each opinion has a plethora of books written to support that view. We know, we’ve seen them on the shelf. One issue that tends to still be a hot-button is the decision for a mom to stay at home.

As a family, we have decided the best thing for us is for Katie to stay home, and that is usually met with one of two responses:

A) That’s cool that you guys want to do that
B) Won’t Katie be bored? / How can you afford that? / Doesn’t Katie aspire to other things?

We know that no decision in life is ever black and white, or easy for that matter. Even the decisions that seem blacker or whiter than others come with baggage. There are single moms that need to work. There are parents that decide the best thing for their family is for both parents to work. And that’s great, I’m not knocking that by any means.

What I am saying is that we need to be more supportive of moms who decide to stay home.

When Katie and I talk about raising our kids, we think the person best qualified for the job (and yes, it is a job) is Katie. We believe she has the gifts, skills, talents and emotional and physical connection needed to best raise our baby girl. And because we believe that, we’re willing to make sacrifices to make it happen.

People tend to ask if Katie will get bored staying home. Does the babysitter or daycare provider get bored? It seems like we have a double standard in not thinking it’s weird for someone to work in a daycare, but it’s weird for someone to stay home to take care of their kids. Plus, how can you get bored of spending time with your kids? Sure, some days will be more quiet than others, but if I could have my way I’d be there right alongside my girls every hour of every day.

Then there is the question of why doesn’t a stay-at-home mom “asipre” to anything. Aspire to what? To what end is the careerism rat-race? What could be a greater aspiration than making the sacrifice of time and energy to raise your kids? In my mind, Katie is the President of Child Development, and the COO of the Saldanha Corporation. The pay isn’t that great, but the reward sure is.

Like I said before, this is just one view. I’m not saying that other opinions are wrong, nor am I trying to bring people down if they choose to work. All I’m saying is that the other side of the argument should get some well-deserved respect.

To moms!

Good
Snow days. We had a movie and shoveling marathon yesterday thanks to the heavens dumping 12 inches of snow on central Iowa.

Bad
The massive sheet of ice between Ankeny and Ames. This morning was not a fun commute.

The Baby
We found out Monday that we’re having a little girl! This is the first granddaughter in both our families, and only the second great-granddaughter. Needless to say, we’re very, very excited. I know that people are going to want to spoil this little angel, but please, go easy on the pink and princess stuff. We’re just not that kind of people.

We also got a bit of not-so-great news. Yesterday the doctor called and said they had spotted a cyst on the baby’s brain. More than likely the cyst will go away or just be a non-issue, but any time you hear something is there that shouldn’t be, and somewhere kind of important like the brain, you tend to worry. At least, we do. So for those who are the praying type, we would appreciate those prayers. For those who are not, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind hearing from you either. We appreciate all the love and support our family and friends give us.

For me, this is one of those critical moments, where I have to choose how I’ll react to a given situation.

Do I:
A) Freak out.
B) Get angry.
C) Trust.

My immediate reaction is A, maybe with a little bit of B sprinkled in there. I think that’s human nature. My knee-jerk reaction is, “What injustice?!? Why my kid? Haven’t I been faithful, God?” As I’ve been studying through the Old Testament book of Psalms, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes I see a common theme: Life can really suck, but it’s not supposed to be that way. I know that God doesn’t want Baby S to have a cyst on her brain, but nature is corrupted and mutated. These things happen. It’s, well, nature.

God wants answer C. So that’s what we’re going to do. We know the rejoicing that will come in the end.

“Your hands made me and fashioned me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments. May those who fear You see me and be glad, because I wait for Your word.”