They say (I don’t know who “they” are, but they do say) that the road to eight weeks can be a rough one, but once you arrive you’ve turned a corner toward happy toddlery. So here we are, two days into Phase 3 of Eisley Christine The Tiniest Bean’s (or, ECTTB) life.

Phase 1 was great, but tiring. Four weeks of learning who this little person was, what they need, when they need it, how they tell us they need it, how they tell us we’re not giving them what they need . . . it’s exhausting. Both physically and emotionally. For those first few weeks I think we were clocking about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Although I loved how little and cuddly ECTTB was, I’m glad those days are behind us.

Phase 2 proved to be challenging, but a lot of fun. ECTTB was smiling a lot, starting to interact a tiny bit, ooo’s and aaaah’s, recognizing Kate and I as we entered the room. By week eight, we could tell she knew who we were and was happy to see us.

Phase 3 will bring a lot of change. (Hopefully) Sleeping through the night, less feeding, longer napping, chatting, rolling, and being all around lovely. I don’t now if it’s psychological or for real, but I can’t help but feel I’ve noticed a difference in ECTTB already. Could be the fact that she’s a big kid, maybe it’s the dairy-free diet (which has proved to be more challenging than we thought) taking effect, either way we love where we are.

I am also amazed at how much I’ve learned in 8 weeks. Like, my mind has been completely blown. Here are a few highlights:

1. God Is Amazing
The moment ECTTB showed up, I knew abundantly more about the love that God has for us. He created us, and we created this little girl. There is no comparison to that love. Yeah, I LOVE Kate more than anything in this world, but I didn’t create her. In a lot of ways my love for her can be fickle because, although she’s spiritually a part of me, she’s not physically of me. Eisley has part of me inside her, and there is this intrinsic love that floods my heart. It’s fantastic, but dangerous (more on that later).

Also, we have to trust God for evertything. Duh, right? As a Christian that’s rule numero uno. But when you have a kid it becomes way more real. I forget to trust God because I am a rational (most of the time), logical (I think), self-sufficient (not really, but we think so) human being that can act on my feelings, thoughts, stimuli. ECTTB can’t do much on her own. She can’t feed herself. She can’t roll over if she’s face down. She can’t tell us exactly what she needs when she needs it. Those first few nights home we didn’t sleep for fear that ECTTB would need us to save her live. We have slowly been able to trust God that He’s got it under control. Yeah, crappy stuff can happen, but He knows what He’s doing. Trust me . . . trust Him.

2. The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Kids
The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse more than them. Whoa, what? Yup. I said it. Our family isn’t about ECTTB (is that joke old yet?), but she is a part of it. If things aren’t right between Kate and I, things won’t be right between us and our kids. If there’s marriage problems things become petty, and it’s easy to make idols out of our kids. We’re human, we love to hurt people who hurt us. It’s certainly been hard to invest in my marriage as much as I’d like, and I know it needs more attention than I’m giving it, but I think we’re in a good place. We know that if Eisley knows her mom and dad love each other she’ll feel secure.

3. It’s Not About You
This is a lesson for both the Christian and Non-Christian. Let’s face it, we’re all selfish. We humans tend to think of ourselves as the central figure in a movie about ourselves. Everyone else around us are the supporting cast, and our resolution is to find pleasure for ourselves. Having a kid forces you to take a hard look at where you spend your time, money and energy. All of a sudden, you’re sacrificing sleep and a social life to keep this kid alive. Not only that, but it’s a joy to give up those things to spend time with this amazing little bundle. I would trade a beer with the fellas for an hour with Eisley any day. Now, if we can just have that same attitude for God, we’d be in good shape.

4. It’s True
Eisley is the cutest kid on Earth. I know everyone says that about their kids, but c’mon. Seriously.

A big reason I love reading the Old Testament is the rich tradition of storytelling, which became the writings. The stories were not just meant to pass on historical fact, nor just fictional fables to get little kids to do the right thing. They were real people, experiencing real events, that would give the listener, and eventually us, insight into how we are to live.

One of my super-stud heroes is Daniel. He (and his friends) did a lot of pretty amazing things: he was attractive, studious, trustworthy, excelled in nearly everything he did, became a part of the King’s court, interpreted dreams, always (nonviolently) stood up for his faith, shut the mouths of lions, saw visions of the future . . . pretty awesome.

But what really amazes me is that the one thing he really desired was to see his people Israel restored. And he never got to see it happen.

Israel had been bad. Really bad. And God allowed them to be conquered and taken into captivity by Babylon. Jerusalem and the temple, the two dearest things to the Jewish people, would be destroyed. This was not how it was supposed to be. Daniel was broken, and cried out that God would once again cleanse and restore His people.

We tend to have this idea that God will give us anything and everything we want as long as it’s honoring to Him. The truth is, that’s not truth. Yes, God wants to give us the desires of our heart, but He also wants His will to be done, and He wants us on board.

Daniel was the righteous guy. If anyone at that time deserved to get what they asked for it was him. Yet God would wait to restore Israel until after Daniel’s death. For whatever reason it wasn’t the right time.

This gives me hope. People tend to think that God doesn’t give them something because they’re doing something wrong. Or, people think they deserve what they’re asking from God and get pissed when He doesn’t give it to them. And then they walk away.

In that moment, by all human rationale, Daniel had every reason to walk away from God. He was asking for something that would be honoring to God, he was doing everything right, and yet God wouldn’t answer. But instead Daniel holds onto the hope that God listens and restoration is coming, even if the time and the means doesn’t make sense. Maybe God “disappointed” him a little by our standards, but He gave Daniel something greater to hope in.

So what will I do when God doesn’t answer? When, in that moment, everything inside me says, “He doesn’t care, just walk away.” Maybe I should remember all the amazing things God has done and realize that He truly is faithful, and His will be done.

Of course, it always helps when God sends an angel with a message. But I’m not holding my breath.

I never really thought there would be a day where I would write a letter to a good friend in prison. But if I’ve learned anything in my life it’s that things don’t always go according to plan, both good and bad.

A couple weeks ago I found out that a friend, who’s family we are very close with, was in the county jail. Anybody who knows the guy was completely blindsided by it. His family is a solid Christian family, he’s one of the most likable guys you will ever meet, and it’s something you never think would happen to someone you know. But he made some really bad, really illegal decisions, and this is what happens.

If you’ve never written a letter to prison, let me tell you, it’s a strange thing. I mean how do you start? What do you say?

“Sorry you’re in the clink?”

“How could you be such an idiot?”

So I started with a prayer. And I ended with a prayer. And in between I hopefully encouraged him. I hope he doesn’t feel any more guilt or shame than he needs to.

The amazing thing is his response. He knows what he did was wrong, and he knows he has to pay for it. But beyond all that, he knows that God wanted to get his attention before he found himself dead. And God wants to use him to reach the guys around him.

It reminds me of the consistent call of the Proverbs:

“He who is steadfast in righteousness will attain to life, And he who pursues evil will bring about his own death.”

“There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.”

“The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death.”

There are so many traps we can fall into. Our “logic” can become so easily skewed. We are quick to justify our actions. But in the end, if we’re not on the path that God has laid out, it all leads to death.

“For he who finds me finds life And obtains favor from the LORD.”

“The fear of the LORD prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened.”

“In the way of righteousness is life, And in its pathway there is no death.”

Sure, we’re not all doing things that will land us in jail, but as another friend put it, “His actions were illegal, mine are just immoral.” Legality isn’t the real issue, our acts are more like white-washed tombs. They look good on the outside, but inside is death and decay.

It’s a good reminder of how easily we can stray from the path. I don’t want to do things illegal nor immoral. Oftentimes the immoral acts that go uncovered are the ones that will destroy a man, a family, and a community. In the end it all leads to death. I’m thankful for those around me that remind me of the path that leads to true life.

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.

We’re praying for you, brother. May the Lord do His will in you!

Editor’s note: I should preface this by saying I am terrible at loving people like God calls me to. I am no better than most people.

Apparently there was a big healthcare deal this weekend.

Meh.

There are a lot of angry people, and there are a lot of happy people. I’m somewhere in the middle. Sure, there’s good that will come out of it. Yes, there’s crap that will come out of it. I’ve become incredibly disillusioned with politics for a couple reasons:

1. Whatever decision is made, 50% of the people will be angry
2. Does it really matter?

If we’re lucky, we get 80-some years on this Earth. I don’t want to spend it concerned about what policies do or do not get passed. As a Christian, I think God tells us not to worry about those things. God wants us to be concerned with His work, not our own.

But that brings up an interesting point. I know a lot of Christians will be upset about this healthcare thing. In fact, I saw a fellow Christian post on Facebook something along the lines of, “I wonder how God will feel about a ‘Christian’ nation paying taxes to support abortion.”

Wait, what? Is that the big concern?

I can’t help but want to clear up a couple things. First, are we really a Christian nation? How do we qualify as a Christian nation? A majority of our citizens claim to be Christian? We were founded on Christian ideals? By that criteria are we also a white male nation?

Last I knew, God didn’t want us to be concerned with building kingdoms or focusing on the mass-religion of a geopolitical state. He said that we are to be like aliens, strangers, sojourners and our focus is to be on the Kingdom of God. Our allegiance is to Him. Why are we focusing on the Christianity of a landmass?

Let’s shift our focus of the Christianity of our nation to the faith of our neighbors. Follow Jesus? Good, that’s all that matters.

Now, abortion. Yes, I believe God turns His face away in anguish and pain in light of every abortion that occurs. But He does the same when people hate others, when people mar His name, when people turn their backs on the helpless. Abortion is no greater a sin than anything else. I think abortion is a tragedy, but I am also sympathetic to those who feel like they are backed into a corner and have no other option but abortion. Have we as Christians stopped to think about that girl who feels so helpless and trapped? God might be angry that we haven’t done anything to help her. By loving that person, maybe we could have prevented that abortion. Have we thought about that?

When it comes down to it, we’re going to have to pay taxes to things we don’t agree with. We’re going to have to face legislation that might not line up with our Christian ideals. But where are we going to draw the battle lines? Let’s not worry about a Christian nation, but worry about a faithful Christian people. I think that’s what God is aiming for.

“Of the great books which have been composed or partly written in prison, ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ by John Bunyan is the best known and the most remarkable.”

Like most people, I love a good story. I can’t wait for the day I get to read stories to my kids, pull them into the lives of the characters and see how they enter into the emotional roller coaster of the arc. There is something magical about entering Narnia through the wardrobe or fighting the buggers alongside Ender. And there’s certainly something magical about being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Over the years, as I have studied and sought to understand the Bible and what impact it has on my life, it has becoming so clear that God is writing a story and we are all characters. Don Miller helped me understand that I’ve lived my life as the central figure of my own story, but God has a much bigger story for us. Steve Larson has helped me discover the thread that runs through all of the Bible, and that my tiny, unimportant life is indeed an important character and subplot. And God continues to show me that knowing Him is not about theological points or analyzing allegory, but to listen to His telling of the story of humanity.

Jesus definitely used allegory to teach us the mysteries of this Kingdom he talked so much about. Knowing which path have we been sown on, or identifying with the lost sheep, or the realization that we are the prodigal son. But we get so caught up in every aspect of the Bible having to be boiled down to however many theological points.

What if that was how we told stories to our kids?

Me: “Alright dummies, now that I’ve read ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ to you, who can tell me the five application points?”

Kid: “Uh . . . that it was awesome?”

Me: “Wrong! Max is a symbol of our inner childhood and rage, which manifests itself in our lives as wild monsters that cannot be controlled and thus when we are faced with that realization we run from the very aggression we believed was to be embraced. Therefore, stop being mad.”

What a killjoy. Can’t we just be content with being amazed? Sure, there are moral implications below the surface, but are we missing the forest for the tree?

God help me that I never exasperate my kids. I hope I can allow them to enjoy the story.

Well, not yet. Three weeks from today I turn 27. That number seems crazy to me, considering I still feel like a 14-year-old. But considering that these days, to me, college students look like high schoolers and high schoolers look 12 it must mean that I’m getting older.

Some time ago, I came across an organization called charity: water that was founded by a guy who wanted to make a difference on his birthday. He was turning 31, and he had realized that his faith had grown stagnant and his life was all about himself. So he asked his friends to do away with the gifts and try to raise money to deliver clean water to areas of need. In the last two years, they have raised over $7.5 million, funded 1,030 water projects in 13 countries and effected the lives of 500,000 people. Talk about putting faith into action.

This year, I want to do the same. Instead of gifts, I’m asking for contributions. $20 will provide clean water to one person for twenty years. If you think about it, $1 will give someone clean water for a year. A year of clean water for the price of, what, chicken nuggets? A third of a cup of coffee? The amount of change in your couch? For my birthday, I want to provide 1000 people with clean water this year.

The past month I’ve been part of a study through the book of Proverbs, and one thing has been staggeringly clear to me: God wants us to care about those who need help. In fact, He says it is an abomination to ignore the cries of the poor and needy. According to Merriam-Webster, an abomination is extreme disgust and hatred. I don’t want to be that anymore.

Please watch the video from founder Scott Harrison, it’s nothing short of inspirational. Go to charity: water and read about the organization. 100% of public donations go directly to water projects.

Then, please consider going to www.mycharitywater.org/chris. Every dollar saves a life.

Okay, I admit it. That last post was maybe a little bit negative. Hopefully this one will bring me some redemption.

I remember several years ago my bible study leader / mentor / friend’s dad / friend Steve Larson had us think back through our life and write down the landmark people, places and events that had shaped our life and our journey of faith. It’s a pretty powerful thing when you see the people who changed you (for the good or for the bad) and God’s providence in all aspects of your life.

The last ten years have been the most important years of my life in terms of shaping my beliefs and philosophies about life. And I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if it were not for some key people. Certainly, everyone in my life is influential in some way, and plenty of people have ebbed and flowed in the amount of influence throughout my life. My family, of course, has been incredibly influential, though in the last few years less so. Same with friends.

These are some of the people that shaped the person I am today.

Tiffany Baird
Tiffany was the first person to really start talking to me about Jesus. I had my experiences with “religious” people in the past, but there was something very different about her. And, she actually cared about me rather than spouting something at me and walking away. Six years later she introduced me to the woman who would become my wife. Tiffany is the reason for the two happiest days of my life thus far.

Josh Goodman
I grew up catholic, so I spent a lot of time in mass. When I heard Josh Goodman talk about the bible for the first time at Franks House of Rock in Des Moines, I couldn’t believe the passion and depth with which he talked. The dude clearly believed what he was talking about, and cared whether or not you believed it. Josh’s messages where the meat of the conversations Tiffany and I had. Were it not for Josh talking about the reality of heaven and hell, I might not have thought twice.

Greg Teselle
Greg was the pastor in charge of Franks House, where I first hard that Jesus can change your life. Through my freshman year of college, Greg was the one who poured into my life, challenged me to be a youth leader (even though I still didn’t really understand what Christianity was about) and helped me get my legs as a new believer.

Aaron Nordyke
Aaron has been a dear friend for most of these last ten years. He has influenced my daily relationship with God, shown me the value of the New American Standard and English Standard Version bibles, challenged me to quit smoking, got me back into long-distance running, showed me the value of generosity and is an all-around awesome guy. My life would be drastically different without his friendship.

Steve Larson
About seven years ago, Steve took a group of young guys under his wing and taught them the value of reading, interpreting, and applying all of the bible from Genesis to Revelation. The lessons I have learned from him are immeasurable. My relationship with Steve is the kind that is hard to define: he’s my friend’s dad, a bible study leader, a mentor, a role model and above all, a friend. Complicated relationships can be good.

The Monday Night Study
Since Steve started the Monday night study group, members have come and gone. I realized the other night that I’m the only remaining original member, but I would have it no other way. There is something powerful about sharing meals together then discussing our ideas and insights into what the bible means. In the early days, we would study for three hours, then go to someone’s place and drink, smoke and discuss for another three. Life circumstances have caused a change in that model, but those first couple years were by far the most impactful. There’s something oh-so-right about discussing theology at midnight with a beer in hand.

Paul Sabino
Paul was the college pastor at The Salt Company, so I spent most of my college career listening to him speak. Again, he was a man who spoke with an all-too-rare passion and understanding of the bible. To date, he’s still the best boss I have ever had and consider it a privilege to work along side him for two years. It’s pretty amazing when your boss prays for you, I certainly miss that.

The Salt Company / Cornerstone Staff
My first year on staff with The Salt Company gave me an invaluable inside look at the staff dynamic at Cornerstone. If you ever doubt the intentions of a pastor, just spend a week with him and you’ll know pretty quickly the state of his heart. I was humbled by the honesty, integrity and authenticity of everyone on staff, and it challenged me every day to live out what I believed. That first year with The Salt Company really felt like family, and now that we’re spread throughout the country it makes you long for reunion.

Todd Wallace
Todd is one of my favorite people to talk with. Any time we get together it seems like what we’re supposed to be talking about gets put on the back-burner and we usually meet way longer than planned. Everything from theology to technology, life to leadership, music to marriage, and now how to raise girls. I blame Todd for making me step up in leadership, but it has been a healthy struggle.

Katie Saldanha
I have never been challenged more in my life than in the last two years of marriage. Katie is not only my joy and my crown, but my mirror and magnifying glass that brings to light every blemish and flaw in my life. What I love about our relationship was that the precedent to challenge and grow one another was set in our dating relationship. As cheesy as it sounds, she makes me want to be a better man. Not only a better man, but the man God is calling me to be. She will accept nothing less, and I’m thankful it’s that way.

Looking back on the influence these people have had in my life, and how drastically different I am today than ten years ago makes me excited for the change that will come in the next ten years. Hopefully, I can manage to influence a person or two along the way.

A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times when we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities dirty and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wineskins.
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

- T.S. Eliot

“The value of the gift is magnified when you consider the kind of people that make up the world.”
- Paul Sabino

The season of Christmas is bittersweet for me. I love celebrating the birth of Jesus, reflecting on what His life and love means, and rejoicing in the gift He gave me. That gift of being saved from my corrupted and hell-bound self. That’s the sweet part. The bitter part is knowing and loving people who don’t care. They don’t care about Jesus or don’t believe they need His gracious gift.

Last night, at church, I cried (yeah, I cried, so what?) tears of joy for the life of Jesus, and tears of sorrow for the people who don’t have that gift, who don’t want that gift, and are separated from God.

Paul Sabino gave a great message on John 3, and specifically verse 16, which is so commonly known and diluted. A man named Nicodemus comes to Jesus wanting to know about the true life that He offers. Nicodemus was a Jewish teacher who was a good religious man, but knew he was missing something. He was missing a true relationship. Before the well-known “God so loved the world” line, Jesus mentions a story of Israel when they were plagued with venomous snakes, and Moses had to raise a bronze snake on a stick to heal the people who were bitten and infected. In the same way, Jesus had to be raised up so that people who have been infected may be healed. And this gift is extended to, and necessary for everyone.

Especially me. And for that I cry tears of joy. Every day I need to be saved from myself – my selfishness, my greed, my arrogance, my worship of anything other than the One who deserves it. God gives the Gift that gives us true life, and life to the fullest, and it makes me sad that people don’t want that. Not only don’t want it, but wholly reject it.

So instead, we mask the reality of this week with family and gifts and food. Yeah, family, gifts, and food are good things and are part of it, but are we missing the point? Are we missing it?

Are you missing it? I beg you to consider the weight of the gift, and find the joy that comes with it.

Good
Snow days. We had a movie and shoveling marathon yesterday thanks to the heavens dumping 12 inches of snow on central Iowa.

Bad
The massive sheet of ice between Ankeny and Ames. This morning was not a fun commute.

The Baby
We found out Monday that we’re having a little girl! This is the first granddaughter in both our families, and only the second great-granddaughter. Needless to say, we’re very, very excited. I know that people are going to want to spoil this little angel, but please, go easy on the pink and princess stuff. We’re just not that kind of people.

We also got a bit of not-so-great news. Yesterday the doctor called and said they had spotted a cyst on the baby’s brain. More than likely the cyst will go away or just be a non-issue, but any time you hear something is there that shouldn’t be, and somewhere kind of important like the brain, you tend to worry. At least, we do. So for those who are the praying type, we would appreciate those prayers. For those who are not, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind hearing from you either. We appreciate all the love and support our family and friends give us.

For me, this is one of those critical moments, where I have to choose how I’ll react to a given situation.

Do I:
A) Freak out.
B) Get angry.
C) Trust.

My immediate reaction is A, maybe with a little bit of B sprinkled in there. I think that’s human nature. My knee-jerk reaction is, “What injustice?!? Why my kid? Haven’t I been faithful, God?” As I’ve been studying through the Old Testament book of Psalms, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes I see a common theme: Life can really suck, but it’s not supposed to be that way. I know that God doesn’t want Baby S to have a cyst on her brain, but nature is corrupted and mutated. These things happen. It’s, well, nature.

God wants answer C. So that’s what we’re going to do. We know the rejoicing that will come in the end.

“Your hands made me and fashioned me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments. May those who fear You see me and be glad, because I wait for Your word.”