Phase 3
They say (I don’t know who “they” are, but they do say) that the road to eight weeks can be a rough one, but once you arrive you’ve turned a corner toward happy toddlery. So here we are, two days into Phase 3 of Eisley Christine The Tiniest Bean’s (or, ECTTB) life.
Phase 1 was great, but tiring. Four weeks of learning who this little person was, what they need, when they need it, how they tell us they need it, how they tell us we’re not giving them what they need . . . it’s exhausting. Both physically and emotionally. For those first few weeks I think we were clocking about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Although I loved how little and cuddly ECTTB was, I’m glad those days are behind us.
Phase 2 proved to be challenging, but a lot of fun. ECTTB was smiling a lot, starting to interact a tiny bit, ooo’s and aaaah’s, recognizing Kate and I as we entered the room. By week eight, we could tell she knew who we were and was happy to see us.
Phase 3 will bring a lot of change. (Hopefully) Sleeping through the night, less feeding, longer napping, chatting, rolling, and being all around lovely. I don’t now if it’s psychological or for real, but I can’t help but feel I’ve noticed a difference in ECTTB already. Could be the fact that she’s a big kid, maybe it’s the dairy-free diet (which has proved to be more challenging than we thought) taking effect, either way we love where we are.
I am also amazed at how much I’ve learned in 8 weeks. Like, my mind has been completely blown. Here are a few highlights:
1. God Is Amazing
The moment ECTTB showed up, I knew abundantly more about the love that God has for us. He created us, and we created this little girl. There is no comparison to that love. Yeah, I LOVE Kate more than anything in this world, but I didn’t create her. In a lot of ways my love for her can be fickle because, although she’s spiritually a part of me, she’s not physically of me. Eisley has part of me inside her, and there is this intrinsic love that floods my heart. It’s fantastic, but dangerous (more on that later).
Also, we have to trust God for evertything. Duh, right? As a Christian that’s rule numero uno. But when you have a kid it becomes way more real. I forget to trust God because I am a rational (most of the time), logical (I think), self-sufficient (not really, but we think so) human being that can act on my feelings, thoughts, stimuli. ECTTB can’t do much on her own. She can’t feed herself. She can’t roll over if she’s face down. She can’t tell us exactly what she needs when she needs it. Those first few nights home we didn’t sleep for fear that ECTTB would need us to save her live. We have slowly been able to trust God that He’s got it under control. Yeah, crappy stuff can happen, but He knows what He’s doing. Trust me . . . trust Him.
2. The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Kids
The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse more than them. Whoa, what? Yup. I said it. Our family isn’t about ECTTB (is that joke old yet?), but she is a part of it. If things aren’t right between Kate and I, things won’t be right between us and our kids. If there’s marriage problems things become petty, and it’s easy to make idols out of our kids. We’re human, we love to hurt people who hurt us. It’s certainly been hard to invest in my marriage as much as I’d like, and I know it needs more attention than I’m giving it, but I think we’re in a good place. We know that if Eisley knows her mom and dad love each other she’ll feel secure.
3. It’s Not About You
This is a lesson for both the Christian and Non-Christian. Let’s face it, we’re all selfish. We humans tend to think of ourselves as the central figure in a movie about ourselves. Everyone else around us are the supporting cast, and our resolution is to find pleasure for ourselves. Having a kid forces you to take a hard look at where you spend your time, money and energy. All of a sudden, you’re sacrificing sleep and a social life to keep this kid alive. Not only that, but it’s a joy to give up those things to spend time with this amazing little bundle. I would trade a beer with the fellas for an hour with Eisley any day. Now, if we can just have that same attitude for God, we’d be in good shape.
4. It’s True
Eisley is the cutest kid on Earth. I know everyone says that about their kids, but c’mon. Seriously.




“Of the great books which have been composed or partly written in prison, ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ by John Bunyan is the best known and the most remarkable.”