Mild-mannered Katie Saldanha is a Des Moines native and grad from Hope College in Holland, MI. In her free time she enjoys running laps, olives, and singing songs.
When not fighting design crime, Chris Saldanha reads blogs and watches videos. But mostly he tries to make things look pretty. He also is learning to deal with the fact that his wife is smoking hot.
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I can’t deny my love for 90′s hip hop, including Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony. So great.
But this isn’t about Bizzy, Layzie or the rest of the crew. Nor is this about Brittney Spears’ 2002 commercial failure. It’s about the reality of being at those crossroads in life, and sometimes feeling helpless.
This particular crossroads is the perennially, hotly-argued vaccine debate. I’m not here to promote one side or the other, nor am I really looking for anyone to win me to their side. We have a plan for our family that we feel comfortable with. It took a lot of research, wisdom, prayer, and ultimately faith.
I should say, “had” a plan. We got a letter from the clinic that our pediatrician is part of saying they will terminate their relationship with us if we don’t comply to the CDC recommended schedule. This came as a complete shock because our pediatrician has been VERY good about presenting the available options, voicing concerns one way or the other, and then leaving the decision up to us. And she supports whatever decision we make. Now our hand is being forced to make a decision, comply with the CDC or find a new doc. Which isn’t easy as more and more doctors are feeling the pressure to follow the CDC recommendations and thereby leaving any freedom on the parents’ part at the door.
I’m not here to bag on the CDC either. I understand why they have recommended what they have, but I also feel that some recommendations are unnecessary. For example, do we really need a chicken pox vaccine? Our generation and generations past lived through it. But I digress.
And I’m not here to bag on big pharma. But I will say that, and I can speak from my own heart, people are more often motivated by money than doing good. I know I am. Just saying.
So what do we do? This is our current crossroads, but it’s not like it’s the first crossroads in our family, marriage or individual lives. We do what we always do: seek wisdom, seek God, seek faith. I fully, 100% trust in God’s goodness, but the hard part is it doesn’t always look how I want. We do our due diligence, ask tough and important questions and pray for God’s goodness to reign in our life. Whatever the outcome, we have to have faith that God is bigger. God has shown up in BIG ways in our life, and we have to trust His faithfulness is better than our faithfulness.
Besides, we could always get in a car accident on the way home.
Wait, two posts from Chris in as many days? To quote Sarah Palin, you betcha!
As I have thought through the last week, as well as the last 28 years of my life, I realized something about myself. I love to talk. I love to give my thoughts or opinions even when I haven’t been asked. There is some need deep within me to be a part of the conversation when all I have been doing is eavesdropping.
Well, no more! Part of my observance of Lent will be to practice silence. I won’t be giving up talking completely, but I’m staying out of conversations, discussions, debates, etc. unless I’m asked my thoughts on the subject. I don’t know if it comes from an issue of pride in wanting to be heard or be proven right, or a quarrelsome spirit that likes to stirs things up, or something else completely. What I do know is that it can be unhealthy.
Part of the call of the life of the Christian is to practice humility, and what better way to exhibit humility than not always needing to be heard. I hope and pray that practicing restraint in speaking will open my eyes to see whatever is truly lying in the depths of my heart. In the words of the ever-loving and wise Kathryn Saldanha, “It’s going to be hard for you.” God help me.
Preface: I’m not really much of a Rob Bell fan. I have read part-way through a couple of his books, and honestly, his videos tend to annoy me slightly. But, to his credit, I think he does pose some thought-provoking questions and offers valuable insights. So just to let you know, I’m not pro-Bell or anti-Bell.
I wonder what non-Christians think of the Church when they see how the “church” acts. The mud-slinging, the back-biting, the gossip and slander. Is it any wonder that non-Christians look at what Christians are offering and think it’s bunk?
Surprise, surprise, Rob Bell has a new book coming out – read that again, coming out; it’s not even out yet – and it is stirring up controversy. The latest talk in the blogosphere, and endorsed by John Piper himself (so it must be true), is that Rob Bell is a universalist. First, a little background.
Rob Bell planted and pastored a church in Grand Rapids, MI called Mars Hill, which has been a target of the post-modern / emergent church controversies in the evangelical sphere for the past decade. He is also an author and a speaker. What it boils down to is the more conservative Christian leaders think he is wishy-washy on his doctrine, and the younger generation lauds his efforts to shift paradigms and challenge the form and push the function of the church.
Like I said, no surprise that there is fresh controversy surrounding a new book.
I’m not going to defend either side of the argument, because frankly, I don’t care if Rob Bell is a heretic. If so, we need to be weary of his teaching but still be challenged by the questions he poses. If not, he has some valuable insight for what the church should look like in this present age. But this is no different than the examination that we should be doing on ourselves and the leaders we follow. We should scrutinize our pastors, our government leaders, even the heavy-hitters in our Christians sub-cultures. I hate to break it to people, but John Piper is a man just like me, and he is just as susceptible to being used to lead people astray.
What I really have a hard time with, is all the criticism before the book is even released! It doesn’t come out for another five days. Much of what is being said is based on a promo video the publisher released for the book, which is intentionally vague to try and get people to buy the book. I’m sure there are advanced copies that people have gotten ahold of, but from what I have read it seems to be that people are twisting what has been said or written to support whichever view they have of Rob Bell. Love him or hate him, you’ll find the argument to support your believe. Sounds familiar…
From what I am able to discern from the video and critique, Rob Bell is not aboslishing the idea of Hell or punishment, but challenging the church in the message we present. Do I approach people and say, “You’re not a Christian, so you are going to burn in Hell,” or do I say, “God is Love and desires all men to be saved.” Can I know who gets into Heaven or Hell? No! We have been warned not to judge the faith of others because we don’t know what is going on in their hearts. God has that taken care of. Besides, we have some very messed up and unfounded views of Hell. Fun fact: the only time the word “hell” is used in the New Testament, Jesus is referring to a burning trash heap outside of Jerusalem. The reality of eternity separated from God is like this “hell” his listeners would be aware of.
It seems like Rob Bell might also be challenging our idea of the process of salvation. I had this discussion in our connection group and with a group of high school students this week, and it’s a good one to have. So is it only people who say, in English, mind you, “I believe in You, Jesus,” who get in? What if the name of Jesus takes on a different form in another culture, or is it really the idea of the person Jesus, not the name Jesus that saves you? What about people who haven’t heard about Jesus, is that fair? To that end, the Bible is relatively silent (though, I’m pretty sure the original Bible wasn’t written in English), which means we have to trust that an all-knowing, all-loving God has thought through it and has it under control.
One of, if not the most important thing for the Christian in this life is how we represent God and His Son Jesus Christ. Within the walls of the church, are we putting on the things of Christ and showing the unbelieving world what a people transformed by God’s Love looks like? More often than not, no. As an individual, am I’m striving daily to walk in a manner worthy of my calling as a Christian and giving all I have so that people would know Jesus? Certainly not. But just like God’s Grace covers the questions of salvation, it covers my mistakes and lets me start fresh tomorrow.
Maybe we should give Rob Bell a chance. Save the burning stake for March 16th.
In case you don’t like finding the hidden link treats in the blog post, here’s what I linked to for references:
My days have become pretty monotonous…routine is a prettier word…my days have become pretty routine:
Feed Eisley at 7:00 a.m.
Play with Miss Eisley on her playmat/bouncy seat/in Daddy’s lap – look at animals
Kiss Daddy goodbye
Lay E down for a nap
Wake E up at 10:00 a.m. to eat.
Play with Miss Eisley on her playmat/bouncy seat/in my lap – look at animals
Lay E down for a nap
Kiss Daddy hello as he comes home for lunch
Turkey hummus wrap
Kiss Daddy goodbye
Wake E up at 1:00 to eat
Play with Miss Eisley on her playmat/bouncy seat/in my lap – look at animals
Lay E down for a nap
Wake E up at 4:00 to eat (watch Oprah while feeding. But only if it’s a good one. If it’s about money issues/something seedy/Julia Roberts – turn it off)
Kiss Daddy hello as he comes home for the evening!
Play with Miss Eisley on her playmat/bouncy seat/in daddy’s lap – look at animals
Lay E down for a nap
Have dinner with Handsome Husband (usually something he has whipped up!)
Wake E up at 7:00 to eat
Play with Miss E…you get the idea.
Bathtime!
Nap
Wake E up at 9:30ish for her goodnight snack. Jammies on, humidifier on, monitor on, King of Queens on for mommy & daddy’s viewing pleasure.
Pray for Miss E before she retires for the evening.
Bedtime for all.
See what I mean? A little repetitive, a lot wonderful. But if I let it, this routine could get me down. Yes, this is what I have always wanted – to be a mommy with a beautiful baby staying at home with said baby – but the adjustment has the makings of woe-is-me. Repetitive, unglamourous, the same day after day. I love my family, my munchkin, my husband, my little home with all my might and I am so thankful this is my life now. And it is IMPERITIVE that I remember that every little thing is an absolute gift. Here is a beautiful thought from Mr. G.K. Chesterton from Orthodoxy:
“A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore. Heaven may encore the bird who laid an egg.”
Okay, GK! You got me!
May we revel in the beauty of the everyday. May I see how the sun hits the mirror at 6:00 p.m. making our whole living room glow and be glad for our little house. May I breathe deeply the smell of Chris’ coffee in the morning and be grateful to have a husband who goes to work to provide for us. May I hear Miss E’s cries from her crib and be thankful that I can be at home with her to hear her cry.
May we revel in the beauty of the everyday.
James 1:17 – “EVERY good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” I guess even our Heavenly Father is kind of “monotonous”…must be an okay thing…
I am still amazed by flight. Whenever I see planes taking off or landing, they look to me likes toys on fishing line being lifted and returned to the ground. It’s like I can reach out and pluck a plane right out of the sky.
And when you think about the mechanics of flying it’s really quite a miraculous thing. Thousands of pounds of weight being lifted off the ground by some energy and curved wings. Thank you, Bernoulli. Thank you, Wright brothers.
As I was leaving Chicago, the skies were gloomy and grey. Despite being only 6pm, the sun was choked out and it felt more like 9pm. On top of that, we had been delayed and were sitting on the runway. I just wanted to get home and see my girls.
And then, a voice.
“Flight attendents, prepare for take off.”
Joy filled my heart.
So we began our flight. The engines roared. We were pushed back against our seats. The earth sped past. And then, weightlessness.
Moments later we broke through the grey to bright, blue skies. For a second I was breathless. My bad attitude, my desire to get home, my wrath toward the pilots for getting stuck in traffic and being late caused me to forget that the sun still exists.
No matter what time of day, or what the weather is like, the sun still shines. Constant. Eternal (seemingly). Then, as we climbed thousands of miles above the earth’s surface, cars, houses, and eventually towns and cities became insignificant.
God clearly wanted to get my attention. How often do I let my climate block out the truth that forever shines? How often do I allow worry to become as big and unmovable as skyscrapers? Every day. Nearly constantly.
Beyond the dark clouds of our soul, the light of truth and love shines ever brighter. When lifted toward Heaven by the miraculous we look down to see the worries of the world but mere specks dotting the landscape of eternity.
They say (I don’t know who “they” are, but they do say) that the road to eight weeks can be a rough one, but once you arrive you’ve turned a corner toward happy toddlery. So here we are, two days into Phase 3 of Eisley Christine The Tiniest Bean’s (or, ECTTB) life.
Phase 1 was great, but tiring. Four weeks of learning who this little person was, what they need, when they need it, how they tell us they need it, how they tell us we’re not giving them what they need . . . it’s exhausting. Both physically and emotionally. For those first few weeks I think we were clocking about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Although I loved how little and cuddly ECTTB was, I’m glad those days are behind us.
Phase 2 proved to be challenging, but a lot of fun. ECTTB was smiling a lot, starting to interact a tiny bit, ooo’s and aaaah’s, recognizing Kate and I as we entered the room. By week eight, we could tell she knew who we were and was happy to see us.
Phase 3 will bring a lot of change. (Hopefully) Sleeping through the night, less feeding, longer napping, chatting, rolling, and being all around lovely. I don’t now if it’s psychological or for real, but I can’t help but feel I’ve noticed a difference in ECTTB already. Could be the fact that she’s a big kid, maybe it’s the dairy-free diet (which has proved to be more challenging than we thought) taking effect, either way we love where we are.
I am also amazed at how much I’ve learned in 8 weeks. Like, my mind has been completely blown. Here are a few highlights:
1. God Is Amazing
The moment ECTTB showed up, I knew abundantly more about the love that God has for us. He created us, and we created this little girl. There is no comparison to that love. Yeah, I LOVE Kate more than anything in this world, but I didn’t create her. In a lot of ways my love for her can be fickle because, although she’s spiritually a part of me, she’s not physically of me. Eisley has part of me inside her, and there is this intrinsic love that floods my heart. It’s fantastic, but dangerous (more on that later).
Also, we have to trust God for evertything. Duh, right? As a Christian that’s rule numero uno. But when you have a kid it becomes way more real. I forget to trust God because I am a rational (most of the time), logical (I think), self-sufficient (not really, but we think so) human being that can act on my feelings, thoughts, stimuli. ECTTB can’t do much on her own. She can’t feed herself. She can’t roll over if she’s face down. She can’t tell us exactly what she needs when she needs it. Those first few nights home we didn’t sleep for fear that ECTTB would need us to save her live. We have slowly been able to trust God that He’s got it under control. Yeah, crappy stuff can happen, but He knows what He’s doing. Trust me . . . trust Him.
2. The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Kids
The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse more than them. Whoa, what? Yup. I said it. Our family isn’t about ECTTB (is that joke old yet?), but she is a part of it. If things aren’t right between Kate and I, things won’t be right between us and our kids. If there’s marriage problems things become petty, and it’s easy to make idols out of our kids. We’re human, we love to hurt people who hurt us. It’s certainly been hard to invest in my marriage as much as I’d like, and I know it needs more attention than I’m giving it, but I think we’re in a good place. We know that if Eisley knows her mom and dad love each other she’ll feel secure.
3. It’s Not About You
This is a lesson for both the Christian and Non-Christian. Let’s face it, we’re all selfish. We humans tend to think of ourselves as the central figure in a movie about ourselves. Everyone else around us are the supporting cast, and our resolution is to find pleasure for ourselves. Having a kid forces you to take a hard look at where you spend your time, money and energy. All of a sudden, you’re sacrificing sleep and a social life to keep this kid alive. Not only that, but it’s a joy to give up those things to spend time with this amazing little bundle. I would trade a beer with the fellas for an hour with Eisley any day. Now, if we can just have that same attitude for God, we’d be in good shape.
4. It’s True
Eisley is the cutest kid on Earth. I know everyone says that about their kids, but c’mon. Seriously.
A big reason I love reading the Old Testament is the rich tradition of storytelling, which became the writings. The stories were not just meant to pass on historical fact, nor just fictional fables to get little kids to do the right thing. They were real people, experiencing real events, that would give the listener, and eventually us, insight into how we are to live.
One of my super-stud heroes is Daniel. He (and his friends) did a lot of pretty amazing things: he was attractive, studious, trustworthy, excelled in nearly everything he did, became a part of the King’s court, interpreted dreams, always (nonviolently) stood up for his faith, shut the mouths of lions, saw visions of the future . . . pretty awesome.
But what really amazes me is that the one thing he really desired was to see his people Israel restored. And he never got to see it happen.
Israel had been bad. Really bad. And God allowed them to be conquered and taken into captivity by Babylon. Jerusalem and the temple, the two dearest things to the Jewish people, would be destroyed. This was not how it was supposed to be. Daniel was broken, and cried out that God would once again cleanse and restore His people.
We tend to have this idea that God will give us anything and everything we want as long as it’s honoring to Him. The truth is, that’s not truth. Yes, God wants to give us the desires of our heart, but He also wants His will to be done, and He wants us on board.
Daniel was the righteous guy. If anyone at that time deserved to get what they asked for it was him. Yet God would wait to restore Israel until after Daniel’s death. For whatever reason it wasn’t the right time.
This gives me hope. People tend to think that God doesn’t give them something because they’re doing something wrong. Or, people think they deserve what they’re asking from God and get pissed when He doesn’t give it to them. And then they walk away.
In that moment, by all human rationale, Daniel had every reason to walk away from God. He was asking for something that would be honoring to God, he was doing everything right, and yet God wouldn’t answer. But instead Daniel holds onto the hope that God listens and restoration is coming, even if the time and the means doesn’t make sense. Maybe God “disappointed” him a little by our standards, but He gave Daniel something greater to hope in.
So what will I do when God doesn’t answer? When, in that moment, everything inside me says, “He doesn’t care, just walk away.” Maybe I should remember all the amazing things God has done and realize that He truly is faithful, and His will be done.
Of course, it always helps when God sends an angel with a message. But I’m not holding my breath.
I never really thought there would be a day where I would write a letter to a good friend in prison. But if I’ve learned anything in my life it’s that things don’t always go according to plan, both good and bad.
A couple weeks ago I found out that a friend, who’s family we are very close with, was in the county jail. Anybody who knows the guy was completely blindsided by it. His family is a solid Christian family, he’s one of the most likable guys you will ever meet, and it’s something you never think would happen to someone you know. But he made some really bad, really illegal decisions, and this is what happens.
If you’ve never written a letter to prison, let me tell you, it’s a strange thing. I mean how do you start? What do you say?
“Sorry you’re in the clink?”
“How could you be such an idiot?”
So I started with a prayer. And I ended with a prayer. And in between I hopefully encouraged him. I hope he doesn’t feel any more guilt or shame than he needs to.
The amazing thing is his response. He knows what he did was wrong, and he knows he has to pay for it. But beyond all that, he knows that God wanted to get his attention before he found himself dead. And God wants to use him to reach the guys around him.
It reminds me of the consistent call of the Proverbs:
“He who is steadfast in righteousness will attain to life, And he who pursues evil will bring about his own death.”
“There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.”
“The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death.”
There are so many traps we can fall into. Our “logic” can become so easily skewed. We are quick to justify our actions. But in the end, if we’re not on the path that God has laid out, it all leads to death.
“For he who finds me finds life And obtains favor from the LORD.”
“The fear of the LORD prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened.”
“In the way of righteousness is life, And in its pathway there is no death.”
Sure, we’re not all doing things that will land us in jail, but as another friend put it, “His actions were illegal, mine are just immoral.” Legality isn’t the real issue, our acts are more like white-washed tombs. They look good on the outside, but inside is death and decay.
It’s a good reminder of how easily we can stray from the path. I don’t want to do things illegal nor immoral. Oftentimes the immoral acts that go uncovered are the ones that will destroy a man, a family, and a community. In the end it all leads to death. I’m thankful for those around me that remind me of the path that leads to true life.
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
We’re praying for you, brother. May the Lord do His will in you!
Editor’s note: I should preface this by saying I am terrible at loving people like God calls me to. I am no better than most people.
Apparently there was a big healthcare deal this weekend.
Meh.
There are a lot of angry people, and there are a lot of happy people. I’m somewhere in the middle. Sure, there’s good that will come out of it. Yes, there’s crap that will come out of it. I’ve become incredibly disillusioned with politics for a couple reasons:
1. Whatever decision is made, 50% of the people will be angry
2. Does it really matter?
If we’re lucky, we get 80-some years on this Earth. I don’t want to spend it concerned about what policies do or do not get passed. As a Christian, I think God tells us not to worry about those things. God wants us to be concerned with His work, not our own.
But that brings up an interesting point. I know a lot of Christians will be upset about this healthcare thing. In fact, I saw a fellow Christian post on Facebook something along the lines of, “I wonder how God will feel about a ‘Christian’ nation paying taxes to support abortion.”
Wait, what? Is that the big concern?
I can’t help but want to clear up a couple things. First, are we really a Christian nation? How do we qualify as a Christian nation? A majority of our citizens claim to be Christian? We were founded on Christian ideals? By that criteria are we also a white male nation?
Last I knew, God didn’t want us to be concerned with building kingdoms or focusing on the mass-religion of a geopolitical state. He said that we are to be like aliens, strangers, sojourners and our focus is to be on the Kingdom of God. Our allegiance is to Him. Why are we focusing on the Christianity of a landmass?
Let’s shift our focus of the Christianity of our nation to the faith of our neighbors. Follow Jesus? Good, that’s all that matters.
Now, abortion. Yes, I believe God turns His face away in anguish and pain in light of every abortion that occurs. But He does the same when people hate others, when people mar His name, when people turn their backs on the helpless. Abortion is no greater a sin than anything else. I think abortion is a tragedy, but I am also sympathetic to those who feel like they are backed into a corner and have no other option but abortion. Have we as Christians stopped to think about that girl who feels so helpless and trapped? God might be angry that we haven’t done anything to help her. By loving that person, maybe we could have prevented that abortion. Have we thought about that?
When it comes down to it, we’re going to have to pay taxes to things we don’t agree with. We’re going to have to face legislation that might not line up with our Christian ideals. But where are we going to draw the battle lines? Let’s not worry about a Christian nation, but worry about a faithful Christian people. I think that’s what God is aiming for.
“Of the great books which have been composed or partly written in prison, ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ by John Bunyan is the best known and the most remarkable.”
Like most people, I love a good story. I can’t wait for the day I get to read stories to my kids, pull them into the lives of the characters and see how they enter into the emotional roller coaster of the arc. There is something magical about entering Narnia through the wardrobe or fighting the buggers alongside Ender. And there’s certainly something magical about being part of something bigger than ourselves.
Over the years, as I have studied and sought to understand the Bible and what impact it has on my life, it has becoming so clear that God is writing a story and we are all characters. Don Miller helped me understand that I’ve lived my life as the central figure of my own story, but God has a much bigger story for us. Steve Larson has helped me discover the thread that runs through all of the Bible, and that my tiny, unimportant life is indeed an important character and subplot. And God continues to show me that knowing Him is not about theological points or analyzing allegory, but to listen to His telling of the story of humanity.
Jesus definitely used allegory to teach us the mysteries of this Kingdom he talked so much about. Knowing which path have we been sown on, or identifying with the lost sheep, or the realization that we are the prodigal son. But we get so caught up in every aspect of the Bible having to be boiled down to however many theological points.
What if that was how we told stories to our kids?
Me: “Alright dummies, now that I’ve read ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ to you, who can tell me the five application points?”
Kid: “Uh . . . that it was awesome?”
Me: “Wrong! Max is a symbol of our inner childhood and rage, which manifests itself in our lives as wild monsters that cannot be controlled and thus when we are faced with that realization we run from the very aggression we believed was to be embraced. Therefore, stop being mad.”
What a killjoy. Can’t we just be content with being amazed? Sure, there are moral implications below the surface, but are we missing the forest for the tree?
God help me that I never exasperate my kids. I hope I can allow them to enjoy the story.
“Of the great books which have been composed or partly written in prison, ‘The Pilgrim’s Progress’ by John Bunyan is the best known and the most remarkable.”