This year we certainly have a lot to be thankful for. In a lot of ways I would say we have more to be thankful for this year than ever. Is that true? Sure, a lot of awesome things have happened, but should I be any less thankful any other time? Do I value certain things too much, and those things are what make me thankful?

I have been listening to a seminar that a pastor in Minneapolis named John Piper gave about prayer, fasting, and meditation. I have to say, it’s been really challenging. It has challenged what I am thankful for, and how to create a spirit of thanksgiving in all areas of my life.

Like orange juice. Did you give thanks for the orange juice you drank this morning? Why not? Orange juice, as much as a child, is a provision from God, and I want to thank God for all providence in my life.

So God, thank you for the harvest. Thank you that you bring rain when the crop needs rain, and sun when the crop needs sun. Thank you for the farmers whom you have given knowledge to grow and nurture the crop. Thank you for the hard workers who squeeze and bottle the orange juice, the truck drivers, the stockers at Hy-Vee, and the technology of self-checkout so I can enjoy a refreshing glass of orange juice in the morning. Thank you for a job that pays me more than enough to enjoy such luxuries. And thank you, my God, for life today, so I could enjoy that glass of juice.

Maybe if we were more thankful for orange juice, we’d be all-the-more thankful for the big stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Life with God is messy. This isn’t something you hear a lot from evangelists, because it doesn’t really make you want to accept God and draw near to Him. If my life is already messy, why do I need God to mess it up more?

We all want to hear that God will make our life perfect, God will give us that job we really love, God will make us financially stable, God will give us more wishes if we ask for more wishes. But God isn’t a genie or Santa, waiting to bend His will to our whims. He’s God, who created us, and it’s us who need to bend to His will.

In our bible study, we’re spending time in the Psalms. Twice in the New Testament, the apostle Paul says to use the Psalms to teach and encourage each other. It’s interesting that Paul doesn’t say to teach Deuteronomy or even his own letters. In the Hebrew tradition, the Psalms were sung at festivals and celebrations, and around the dinner table, to deepen understanding and communion with God.

But if you read Psalms, you quickly realize that the writers aren’t saying that God gave them a new hut, or increased their drachmas, or multiplied their camels. The writers are struggling to reconcile the pain and suffering they experience with the God of promise they know. When was the last time an evangelist used Psalm 22 to share Jesus with someone?

“I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It is melted within me.”

Doesn’t sound very appealing.

So if God doesn’t make everything magically better, why believe? This seems to be a lot of people’s argument against God. But is it better in suffering to not believe? Whether or not the situation gets better isn’t God’s promise. God offers perspective and hope. The perspective we gain is that this suffering transforms us, and is but a breath compared to the eternity of Heaven. I would rather suffer a lifetime and spend eternity with God than have a cozy life and an eternity of darkness. The hope we have is creation was not meant to be like this, so God does offer the chance for a miracle. Whether or not the miracle comes, should we praise God any less? I don’t think so.

The Psalms shows us that we need a major overhaul of our expectations. God probably won’t cancel the debt on your credit card, or He might not cure your cancer, but should He be any less glorified? He gave us life to begin with, each breath a blessing from above. Let’s realize how majestic God really is, and how infinitely separated we are from Him, and be thankful He would even consider us to be worthy of redemption. Maybe that will put life in perspective.

It’s hard not to think of what happened in 2001 when September 11 rolls around. I feel bad for those with birthdays (Sorry, Sarah!) and anniversaries (Sorry, Chris and Meredith!) on this day that will be forever overshadowed by the worst act of terrorism on American soil to date.

This day really gets me thinking about what we value, and the status of America in the world. Unfortunately, I think the golden age of America is over. For a century, we were the powerhouse. Our economy fueled the world. Nations looked to us like the reserved, well-respected kid on the playground that would resolve conflict. The “American Dream” was born and achieved.

But where are we today? Involved in two unpopular wars. A fledgling economy. A country divided. It’s amazing to think that 8 years ago, every American put aside their differences and were actually united. Too bad it took a horrific event to unite us.

So where does that lead us? With the rise of Russia, China, and India in the last couple decades and too many frenemies with supposed nuclear capabilities (I’m looking in your general direction, Iran and North Korea), it seems like the USA chants are fading in the background and the world’s nation-crush with us is over.

To be honest, I’m glad. Partisanship, failed economics, and less respect on the world stage might be exactly what this country needs. Every world power or dominant society in history came to an end, so why would we expect America to be any different? I doubt Cesar saw his downfall coming.

I think Jesus had it right. Give to Cesar (or Obama, or whoever) what belongs to them, but give to God what belongs to Him. We really need to be careful, now more than ever, of where we put our hope and our hearts. Our hope is not in Obama. He might bring change, he might not. But the reality of pain and suffering, politics, and all the other junk we deal with will still be there. Bi-partisan politics and legislation will not unite us, and will not solve our problems.

God’s been calling for unity for a long time. I just hope we respond before we need another wake up call.

“Blessed be the peacemakers.”

Last night, Katie convinced me to pick up a pair of these babies. That’s right, I now own a pair of Vibram Five Fingers. I remember first seeing them a couple years ago and thinking, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.” But the truth is once you slip them on they feel amazing.

Why did I get them? For starters, my interest was peaked by seeing a pair in good buddy Aaron Nordyke’s house. I thought, “Of course you’d buy these.” But as he began talking about how amazing they feel and how they’ve helped correct his running I became interested. Then he recommended a book called “Born To Run” by Christopher McDougall. McDougall is on the search to rediscover the lost art of running, along the way meeting a colorful cast of characters. The book is nothing short of inspirational.

So a couple weeks ago I decided to start running barefoot. I’m still rehabbing a bum ankle, but immediately I noticed that I could run a couple miles effortlessly. And there’s something so right about running barefoot. Maybe it’s the connection of your body with the earth, or the fact you can really feel what’s going on under your feet. There’s certainly something therapeutic and right about barefoot running.

There’s also something very wrong about barefoot running – nasty, nasty blisters. Katie got sick of seeing my gross feet, so as soon as I tried a pair on she convinced me to buy them. What an amazing wife!

I have always felt something very spiritual about running. It could be the parallels with Paul talking about running the race and winning the prize, or beating his body into submission. There is certainly an element of discipline. More than that, when I run the entire world shuts off. All I hear is the pitter-patter of my feet and the rhythm of my breath. My mind manages to push every thought and worry aside and God speaks. Maybe not an audible voice, but certainly He speaks through my thoughts. Ideas begin to take shape and understanding forms as I push further and further to the rhythm of heart, feet, and breath.

Looking goofy is a small price to pay for communing with God.

This summer was supposed to be my healthiest and fittest summer yet. Between soccer, backpacking, and training for a (half) marathon, I was preparing to be in the best shape of my life. Then (thanks to a bum ankle) all hopes and dreams were torn from my hands, only to be replaced by the dvd player remote, ice cream, and beer. Needless to say, this summer is not turning out as planned.

To get my mind off of being inactive, Katie let me run from my problems down to Kansas City for a visit, albeit short, with the one and only Aaron Nordyke, to take in a Kansas City Wizards and L.A. Galaxy game. For those that are unaware, we’re talking Major League Soccer. And not only Major League Soccer, but week two of David Beckham’s return to the L.A. Galaxy. I was excited. It was great.

But perhaps one of my favorite moments was over dinner, while Aaron and I discussed the idea of adventure. Aaron and I are somewhat kindred spirits, enjoying running and other outdoor activities. Years ago, we had started an “accountability group” (very loosely described as accountability) with some friends. Our first task was to read through the John Eldredge book “Wild At Heart.” I still think this is a great book and recommend every guy read it. We were trying to get to the heart – get it, “heart” – of what it meant to be a guy. Not only a guy, but a Christian guy. And not only a Christian guy, but a Christian guy who truly loved Jesus and wanted to be like him.

Eldredge’s premise is simple: for every man there is a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live. It’s part of how God programmed us as men, to want to fight for something, to want to win over a woman, and to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. He talks about these guys who live lives of “quiet desperation”, clocking in and out of their cubicle jobs every day while a part of them dies inside. We all need an outlet for the adventure we are designed for. I’m so thankful to have such a wonderful wife that not only acknowledges that, but encourages it.

So Aaron and I dreamed of what adventures we could live. Running expeditions in the Badlands, backpacking, finding the Tarahumara people in the mountains of Mexico. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been couch-ridden and watching too much soccer and Long Way Round, or maybe it’s the fact that something inside me craves this adventure.

Maybe someday this ankle will get back to near-normal conditions, it’s still hard to tell what’s ankle, what’s foot, and what’s swelling. For now, I’ll just lay off the ice cream.

The past few weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster for the Saldanha’s. Katie and I both agree that it might have been the hardest couple of weeks of our marriage. The great thing about that is it’s not because of something we did, but just learning how to deal with circumstances. Once God has put a little more shape to this story we’ll be sure to tell it, but for now I’ll continue to be vague.

This past weekend we took three days and headed east to the lovely town of Holland, Michigan to visit the Bishop’s. Becca Wade Barry Bishop is Katie’s best friend from Hope College, and her husband Josh and son Jackson are studs. We had a great time. We also visited Mars Hill Church, home of Rob Bell. This was my fourth visit to Mars Hill without actually hearing Rob speak, but they always have fantastic guest speakers.

This weekend was no exception.

Shane Hipps was visiting from Phoenix, and teaching through spiritual disciplines. This week covered solitude and meditation. For me, this was one of those “we’re just visiting so this won’t really apply to me” mornings. I was wrong.

So wrong, in fact, that God destroyed my heart in the first 15 minutes of the service. We began singing a couple beautiful songs and already I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Then the music director read from the Psalms, and the verses spoke to exactly what Katie and I were dealing with. I started to feel that lump in my throat that comes with brokenness.

And then . . . silence.

The music director told everyone to close their eyes and just pray. Whatever was going on, just pray. In that moment, my heart came undone. I cried for two minutes straight, unable to utter a word to God about what I felt and what I needed, but I knew at that moment that He completely understood and was purging all this junk from within me. I hadn’t really dealt with the things that were going on, I just shelved them, said I believed God was good, and moved on. But I never really experienced that truth, I simply knew it.

Shane’s message gave shape to what I was feeling and experiencing the first part of the service. We’re so quick to learn about God, but do we really know Him? I don’t take the time to quiet myself and just experience God. J.I. Packer says that if you don’t experience God, you don’t really know Him. You just know about Him. I so desperately want to know Him.

Our culture is full of distractions, which is why I think both God and the devil don’t do a lot of miraculous stuff around us. We’re sidelined by total crap that is accessible whenever we want it.

We need to learn to be quiet, and then maybe we’ll hear the voice of God that we so desperately long for.

It seems like we have known a lot of people who have gotten divorced early in their marriage. Even Christian couples. While we don’t know all the details and we shouldn’t assume or “pick sides”, as it were, Katie and I have been able to have really good conversations about how to be proactive in fighting the things that might lead to divorce. We talk about honesty, boundaries in friendships, and above all bowing to God’s commands.

But from what I have learned in the divorces of Christian couples, the common cause is not something like infidelity or distrust, but selfishness. It seems we have forgotten the purpose of our marriages and our lives – being vessels and deliverers of God’s grace.

I have become pretty convinced that our purpose on this Earth is as simple as this: reconciliation through grace. Jesus reconciled us to God through His grace, and now we are to act in ways to reconcile others to God through our grace (given, of course, by God). We are to love enemies. Believing wives are to win over unbelieving husbands by their actions. We are to submit to our authorities even when it’s difficult. We are to display grace so that God would be made known.

When it comes to marriage, it’s not about you. It’s about the grace that you exhibit, even when it’s hard. In that, God will give to you abundantly so you can give to others.

So stop being selfish.

Just saying (or typing, rather) the word makes me feel kinda dirty. It’s always been a strange sounding word to me. But God said it, so I guess it’s okay.

I’m not a big Mark Driscoll fan, but I was listening to a message of his about the heart. He was saying that all issues of sin are really a matter of the heart. Drinking problem? Gotta change the heart. Lust? Change the heart. Overeating? Change the heart. We’ve gotten really good at establishing rules (don’t do this, do that) to avoid the temptations and failures, but we still don’t change the heart motivation, and the part of us that drives our desire for wrong things is still broken.

The thing that struck me was when he dropped a classic C.S. Lewis quote about our desires not being too strong, but too weak. We have weak desires for the right things. If our desire to follow God in obedience was stronger we wouldn’t be so apt to doing silly and destructive things to feed the cravings of our soul.

Driscoll said a question he gets a lot from people is, “don’t you think you’re missing out?” As though being a Christian means you can’t do a lot of really fun things. It got me thinking, what am I missing out on?

• Binge drinking, drunkenness, and puking
• Promiscuity
• Conflict/distrust with my wife
• Excessive self-consciousness
• The emptiness that follows filling whatever craving I have in hopes that it finally satisfies me

I’ve been there, and I can say I’m not missing out on anything. Seems like the world is the one missing out. I pray God would give me stronger desires for the right things.

So this is it, the day Jesus hung on a cross and proclaimed the completion of His work. It is both “good” and sobering.

I have the privilege of having the day off (thanks to the Catholics that started the business where I work!), and have been trying to pray and focus on what this day means. James Denney (courtesy of J.I. Packer) has helped lay the groundwork:

“Not Bethlehem, but Calvary, is the focus of revelation, and any construction of Christianity which ignores or denies this distorts Christianity by putting it out of focus.”

If we have the wrong view of this day, we have the wrong view of everything. It is a warning well heeded.

One thing I have been meditating on is the fact that Jesus would not tell the disciples when He would once again return to Earth. They are already wrestling with the fact that Jesus is going to die on a cross, and then He won’t even tell them when He’s coming back.

The common view is that since Jesus was fully man, God the Father was only giving Him partial knowledge and revelation while here on Earth. In the end, it doesn’t really matter why He wouldn’t tell the disciples, all that matters is that He didn’t.

Maybe Jesus didn’t want to lower the bar for the disciples. If they knew Jesus was coming back at a certain time, they would only have to position their hearts and wills to living a specific way for a specific amount of time. But the unknown is scary and hard. Jesus could come back tomorrow, but He might not come back for 30 years, so we better live in a way that is purposeful for 30 years. Or it might be 300 years. Or 3000.

I think Jesus wants our hearts to be transformed for a eternity, not just for a short time. It’s the least we could do, after all, He did take the weight of all humanity upon Himself today. He deserves our hearts.

If I knew I had a day to live, I wonder what I would do. I think we’ve all played that game. Maybe travel somewhere you have always wanted to go, or spend time with family. Accomplish something you have always wanted to do, or experience something familiar one last time.

Jesus knew tonight would be His last meal with His disciples. In fact, it would be His last night on Earth. So what does He do? He washes the disciples’ feet. Even in His last moments, Jesus is showing us the example of humility, grace, respect, and authority.

I pray that I could embody that same love and devotion. Where are my priorities in my last moments?